My symptoms were awful.
I started having migraines.
I’d get a headache, or I’d be so tired I’d start to sweat.
I’ve had three surgeries since then, so I’ve been through a lot.
My symptoms have been so bad that it’s taken me a long time to get over it.
And yet I still feel like I’m going to die.
I’m still not quite sure why.
I think there’s something else going on, but I don’t know what it is.
It could be a genetic condition, or it could be something else I’ve inherited.
Maybe I’ve just got an inherited disorder that causes my symptoms to worsen.
But I’m trying to find out what it might be.
I have to go to a psychiatrist because I’m scared that they’re going to prescribe me an anti-psychotic medication.
I just feel so hopeless.
I feel like there’s nothing I can do.
What’s the answer?
I’m in a panic because I can’t find anything.
I tried to stop eating, but it just doesn’t help.
It makes me feel so guilty.
It’s like I’ve done something wrong, but that doesn’t mean I have a problem.
If I do anything wrong, it will just make me feel worse.
What I need is a treatment that can help me stop having these symptoms.
I can get through this illness and not feel guilty.
I need a doctor who understands what I’m experiencing, who can help.
What is the answer for me?
I know that there are lots of drugs that work for people with bipolar disorder, but if I can only get medication to help me feel better, I’m not going to be able to go on living.
I don,t want to go back to a life where I’m miserable and depressed.
So I want to make sure that I get help.
Are there any other symptoms you have that could be linked to bipolar disorder?
I have migrainous spells.
I know I have it, but other people don’t.
I do feel really tired and have trouble sleeping.
Sometimes I just want to sleep.
I get headaches, too, but they’re just getting worse.
I really hate going to the toilet.
I hate that I have so much to lose.
How can I help?
I’ve got a job and I’m starting to get my confidence back.
I love my family, but the way they’re looking after me is kind of scary.
If anyone sees me, I think, “Oh my god, my life is in danger.”
I think I’ve missed out on so much because I’ve felt so guilty, but now I realise I can take it.
I realise that this is not a life that I want, so how can I take it?
How can a mental illness affect me?
So many people have told me that their symptoms are caused by bipolar disorder.
So my question is: What if it’s just a genetic disorder?
What can I do?
If I find out there is a genetic factor, can I just do a blood test and just see if I have the gene?
I think it’s important to understand what bipolar disorder is, so that I can find the best treatment for me.
The answer is, I don´t know.
I mean, I am really lucky.
I´m not going back to being a total loser like I used to be.
My illness hasn’t affected my life as much as I expected, but there are a lot of things that I’ve lost.
So, I feel really bad, but hopefully it’s not too bad.
So please, help me, because I really need it.
You can help others by donating to Mental Health UK.
Please share this article on Facebook and Twitter to show support.
If you’re a parent, you can help your child find the right treatment for bipolar disorder by sharing this article.
You may also want to discuss this article with a doctor.